• Tori Owens

#SingleMomChronicles : How To Boss Up On Your Ex


So here you are. Alone. Afraid of what’s next and fresh out of a toxic relationship. You fear the unknown and don’t have a clue to get out of the slums of depression. What the f*** do you do next ?

“I get so lonely, I forget what I'm worth

We get so lonely, we pretend that this works“ - SZA

When I finally worked up enough courage to get out of my toxic relationship with my child’s father, it by FAR was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do mentally. I found myself slipping to the edge and holding on to memories only to get me through the day. I would replay all the nasty fucked up language he would say to me like a broken record.

You’re ugly.

You’re fat.

You’ll never find another man.

tox·ic

ˈtäksik/

adjective

  • relating to or caused by poison."toxic hazards"

  • very bad, unpleasant, or harmful."a toxic relationship"

Oh but honey let me tell you something about toxicity. It will linger through your veins for as long as you allow it to ultimately provoking your demise. Then it hit me.

I said to myself :

Me : Self?

Self : Yes?

Me: Sis, he’s the poison

Self: Well what do you do with poison ?

Me: You provide SYSTEMS to eliminate or purify any harmful substances that may result from said toxin.

Self: You know what sis, I know exactly what I gotta do then.

With that being said , follow these steps to eliminate that toxin you used to call a lover.

How To Boss Up On Your Ex Step- by- Step

  1. Take a day to stare the devil in the eye. Gather pictures , texts, voicemails , and anything else that reminds you of that person. Cry a little. Yell a little. Do whatever it takes. Then burn/delete all those said articles as you sip a cup of wine with your damn pinky in the air.

  2. Take some time to reconnect with yourself until you find the beauty in aloneness. This means no dating , one night stands, no friends with benefits NOTHING ! During this time you will find out just what your internal demons are and face them head on.

  3. Scratch something off your bucket list. If you don’t have one, MAKE ONE ASAP. For me , it was traveling by myself. No friends. No family. Just me. I took a helicopter ride , played with dolphins and even got a new tattoo. I felt so liberated that I just hopped on a plane by myself and did something I’ve never done before.

  4. Fall in love with yourself. Not happy with the way you look? Hit the gym. Not happy with your career? Change it. See a hairstyle you were always scared to try ? Do it. (New hair, who diz?)

  5. Date yourself. Literally.

  6. Expand your knowledge and interests to new things.

  7. Connect with your friends that are likeminded that you probably became distant to because you were so wrapped up in that toxic relationship. Trust me, they’ll be waiting for you.

  8. Train your mind to eliminate your current comfort zone. In return you’ll find that little spark that makes you go harder in everything you do.

Guess what will happen when you do all these things on my list ? You’ll reach internal happiness. And that new found joy is the ULTIMATE WAY TO BOSS UP ON YOUR EX!

#single #mother #boss

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