• Tori Owens

How To Start Your Life Over As A Single Parent


Your 20’s can be the hardest times of your existence. At some point the adolescent version of yourself blossoms into this big cluster of WTF am I doing with my life? And then it hits you. It’s time for a restart. Throw in a toddler and this can be even more difficult. So grab your wine (or vodka ) and listen to my story.

After getting through my first year of motherhood I looked up and I was 26, single with a one year old, and unsure of what my next move would be to secure our future. In my mind all I could think about was “I have to secure the bag by any means”. Unfortunately, my lack of focus and motivation was keeping me stagnant. I kept telling myself “I don’t have time”, or “I’ll do it tomorrow”.....even though pressing the snooze button three times every day became habit. How ironic. (I was being sarcastic)

Call this ...New Mommy Syndrome. We get stuck in this moment of time where every second of the day is dedicated to our child. While being a single parent is hard , we subconsciously tell ourselves we can’t do anything else. This is far from the truth.

This is what statistics want you to think. This is what the naysayers want you to feel. Oh , but you my darling have the ability to prove every one of them wrong. You harness an energy that no man on earth can posses. You are the portal between spirit and life. That’s pretty damn amazing if you ask me!

The key in getting over this rut is finding a medium between parenting and self investment. However , investing in self cannot be measured by dollars and cents. It requires exploration, time management, and a plan.

“Success is when opportunity meets preparedness” - unknown

So how do you REALLY start over in life with a toddler ? Explore these steps and I guarantee you’ll be surprised with the outcome.

1. Self exploration.

Set aside some time weekly to find out who you truly are and what makes you happy. No tv. No social media. No drama. For me , I took up DIY projects. After I would put my daughter to sleep for the night, I would sit in my office and create. I found this creative outlet both relaxing and thought provoking. Whenever I would partake in these projects I would mute anything from my normal day and let my mind talk to me. It gave me time to think about what I wanted to do and how I would do it.

2. Planning

They say over 50% of businesses fail because of poor planning. Therefore , I took all of my ideas of how to secure a better future for my daughter and put them on paper. Writing things out, editing them , and using trial and error inevitably will yield better results.

3. Accountability and action.

As a single parent , sometimes the lack of accountability from a non-existent partner , friend, or family member will have you feeling unmotivated and defeated. Therefore you manifest this negative energy into existence. The fact of the matter is , YOU should be holding yourself accountable before anyone else. This requires action. Ex out any and everything that does NOT add substance to your life. Then , one by one tackle every process within that plan you created in my first step. Give yourself deadlines and continuously check your progress.

These three easy steps are all key in starting your life over ...even as a single parent. It’s doable. I look forward to seeing all you moms turn your passion into purpose.

Sincerely ,

The Urban Mom